stop blaming others

So if you really want to see success with building your body and improving your athletic performance, you have to stop blaming others.

In fact, if you truly want to have success in life, you have to stop blaming everything else as for why you are not where you want to be.

When I was younger I was Benny Blamer.  But blaming everything and everyone else for my personal failures had me going nowhere fast.

Blame Game

My first love in athletics was basketball.

I played a lot of street ball, but I did not spend time actually becoming a student of the game.  And it showed up when I tried out for the basketball team.

When I was younger, I blamed the coaches in high school as the reason for me not getting playing time and eventually getting cut from the basketball team.

But why didn’t I blame myself for not showing up at off-season workouts?  Why didn’t I blame myself for not training on my own to get better at the game of basketball?

When I was in the early years of my coaching career, I blamed the Philadelphia area as to why I could not open my own gym.

But why didn’t I blame myself for being a halfway trainer at the beginning of my career?  Why didn’t I blame myself for not having a plan of action to open that gym?

[bctt tweet=”If you truly want to have success in life you have to stop blaming everything else for why you are not where you want to be.” username=”fitman83″]

It was all fake hustle on my part.  Blaming everything else was the reason I was not having the success that I wanted to have.

Once I accepted responsibility for falling short in the areas that I wanted to succeed in, I began to have success.


One of the greatest evolutions of my life was learning to accept responsibility and stop blaming others.  I was literally going nowhere in life as a second-rate blamer.

I have heard a ton of blaming during my time as a performance coach.  Hearing this stuff makes me physically sick because as a former blamer, I know that the excuses are beyond lame.

Here are some examples of the hustle I’ve heard over the years:

“It’s my wife’s fault that I’m skinny and weak.  She is holding me back from getting to the gym.”

Bro, you could easily get to the gym and start lifting some weights to get bigger and stronger.  You could also start to eat some real food and get some quality sleep to maximize your gains.

It’s not your wife’s fault that you are skinny and not lifting.  You can get to the gym, but you are choosing not to because blaming her is easier than actually doing some real work.

“It’s my husband’s fault that I’m fat and out of shape.  He makes me eat bad.”

Sis, your husband cannot force you to eat bad.

You have the ability to eat in whatever fashion you choose.  You choosing junk food over nutritious food is your choice.

It’s not your husband’s fault that you are fat and out of shape.  You can eat better, but you are choosing to eat garbage because it’s easier to blame him instead of fully committing to your diet.

“It’s my kids fault that I have no time to work out.  They monopolize all of my time.”

One of my great friends has two kids who are involved in a range of activities from sports to school.

He has not missed any time being a parent or any workouts.  He has had to reschedule training at times, but he always gets the job done.

And a quality workout can be done in 30 minutes or less.  Is 1.5 hours a week too much to ask to keep yourself in shape?

It’s not your kids fault that you consistently skip workouts.  You can make time to work out, but you are choosing to skip workouts because it’s easier to blame your kids.

“It’s my jobs fault that I make bad food choices.  All that’s available near my job is junk food.”

What about packing your lunch?

What about making better choices if you decide to eat out?

You don’t have to eat the donuts and danishes every morning.  You don’t have to eat the pizza and fried chicken every afternoon.

You have the ability to choose.  Choose health.

It’s not your jobs fault that you make bad food choices.  You have healthier options available, but you are choosing to eat lousy foods.

“It’s the coaches fault as to why I cannot get in the game, he/she doesn’t like me.”

I used to be this same exact, pathetic person.

How can I blame a basketball coach for cutting me from the team when I wasn’t putting in the work to be a better player?

How can I have the unmitigated gall to blame the coach for not letting me run the 100m dash when I haven’t worked to get faster in the race?

If you are not in the game, it’s on you and your work habits.

The only question you need to ask yourself is: Did I do every single thing possible in the gym, at the table, or on the field to deserve to play?

If the answer is no, you have no solid ground to stand on.

It’s not the coaches fault that you can’t get in the game.  You could actually make a real effort to get better in the off-season, but you are choosing to be lazy and skip workouts.

“It’s my parent’s fault that I can’t build muscle or lose fat, they cursed me.”

This is usually an excuse used by someone who has worked out for a few years but has no real results to show for it.

The truth of the matter is that going to the gym does not mean you will automatically get in shape.  What matters is what you are actually doing in the gym.

If you are not progressively getting stronger and training with intensity, you are not going to make meaningful changes to your body.

Progress requires that you get comfortable being uncomfortable.

We all have genetic limitations.  But you don’t get to say your genetics are holding you back if you have never given an earnest effort to overcome them.

Genetically I’m skinny and sprinting comes naturally to me.  It’s why I was decent in track.

For me muscle and strength are very hard to build.  But I trained hard enough to compete in natural bodybuilding and powerlifting.

It’s not your “lousy” genetics fault that you have not built the body you want.  You could work on maximizing your physique, but you are choosing to use genetics as a crutch.


You have to stop blaming everything else for your shortcomings.

Just as it was my fault as to why I often failed early in my life, it’s your fault as to why you aren’t where you want to be.

It all comes down to the man or the woman in the mirror.

I’ll holla at you next time.
The People’s Trainer,

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